In Love With a Photograph

That’s all I can say.  I am in LOVE!  Ever since our referral all BH and I can do is stare at our sweet daughter’s face and revel in the miracle of HER!  We only have 1 set of photographs, yet everywhere we turn there she is…our peaceful, sleeping Carmen.  We went from being a “zero picture dispay” family to pictures displayed all over the house!  We went rummaging through the attic and found brand new picture frames covered in dirt and dust, both inside and out, that we scrubbed to a shine and filled with nearly identical pictures!  Sure, we’ll get new ones and will replace some of the sleeping pictures we have sitting around the house, but for now this is all we have!  We have pictures in all the following places (where, I repeat, we used to have NONE!): 

Our cars, wallpaper on our computers, taped to the computer desk, in frames on an end table in our family room and in our living room, in a frame hanging on the wall in our hallway, in a frame hanging on the wall of Carmen’s future room, in a tri-fold frame sitting on our headboard (so we can see her as we go to sleep at night and as we wake up in the morning).  While working from home one day BH actually set up a second monitor just so he could look at a full size picture of his daughter while he worked (he wasn’t AT work so he couldn’t look at the pictures he has of her in his cubicle).  Yes, my friends, it is a sickness!  One which I am pleased to announce has infected us!

I never imagined, as we started this process, how much a picture could mean!  I continually looked ahead to the moment when we would hold our daughter in our arms and then bring her home!  I just glossed over, in my mind, the idea of getting pictures and how that would make me feel!  Well, let me tell you…I could not be happier!  While friends and family lament at the fact that it could possibly take 8-9 months or more before we actually bring her home all I can do is smile.  I got what I need!  I have a picture to share with the people I love!  I have faith now that my dream of being a Mommy and BH being a Daddy will someday, if not soon, be a reality!  Sure, a picture might not be as good as the real thing, but you know what…I look at that picture, and talk to that picture, and kiss that picture!  That picture means the world to me and I would not trade how I feel about seeing our Carmen for the first time for the world!  She took our breath away and brought tears to both (yes, my dear BH, I say BOTH) our eyes!  She is already our sunshine on cloudy mornings and our full moon on cloudy nights!  She is not just a glimmer of hope…she is a reality!  She already brings us and those we love so much joy just knowing she is alive and waiting for us!  We love you, our dear sweet Carmen Julia Lopez!  And may you always know and feel that love, wherever you are, wherever you go, no matter how many miles lie between us!  We love you now and we will love you forever!

~ by shoolady on May 26, 2007.